To The Girl He Loved Before Me, Sorry

It was one hell of a big wave. And another insane whirlpool experience. I’d be selfish if I’d say it is just me who got hurt and got twisted. I know you are, too. For we are just both crews boarding that captain’s ship. Crews who only want to serve and secure the loyalty and safety of the ship.

 

Sorry.

 

For the storm we both fought but failed to overcome.

For the engine malfunction we both tried to fix.

For the judgment we – I’m sure you also had one or two – had to pass against each other.

 

Sorry.

 

For my questions that bugged your coffee breaks.

For my actions that ruined your sight-seeing moment.

For my stares that seemed to analyze your works.

 

And sorry.

 

On behalf of the captain.

On behalf of the captain’s wicked ways.

On behalf of the captain’s hurtful remarks.

On behalf of the captain’s poor navigation.

 

There are two things I have discovered and proved. What’s there to fix if the ship sailed away already bruised and broken? What’s there to serve if the captain only wanted a sip of his wine but abandon his crews if there’s a hard time? You don’t deserve that kind of captain – so am I. Now it doesn’t matter who had the better tools. It is a lost cause – the captain and the ship. What a great way to realize. What matters most is that we both got out the sinking ship alive – wounded but somehow breathing.

 

And as a fellow crew who had the same service experience with the captain, I wish you a safe trip back to the harbor and a well-deserved rest before sailing again with a captain of a different kind.

 

*written March 27, 2017

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